Around My Wrist
My rosary... and my hand...
When I am having a bad day I wear my rosary beads around my wrist. I am not a Catholic, but I still have a rosary to comfort me, to use in prayer, to hold onto. It was a present from a good friend of mine, who picked it for me in St Joseph’s Oratory, Montreal. I’m not sure if the picture is clear enough to see, but each bead is a small red love-heart. I love that about it.
My rosary is, to me, a source of great comfort – to have something in your hands to touch, to knead, to cling to. I wrap it around my wrist, hold the cross tight in my hand and pretend it is a bracelet, knowing it is not and I am not wearing it as one. I would like to mention now, so as to make this point clear for my Catholic brothers and sisters, that I do not think of my rosary as a fashion accessory. That is not my intention.
We cling to strange things sometimes. Rosaries, holding crosses, the small silver saints medal around your neck… it’s all the same. That small piece of comfort that reminds us of the massive comfort that is to be found in Jesus Christ. I took Communion earlier. Wafer and wine – not what I’m used to (Methodists tend to go for bread and grape juice). I am not a fan of wafer but I was in Durham Cathedral. I held the wafer in my mouth as I took the wine. The two mingled. I held them without swallowing for a long time. I have never done that before but I felt the need to today. The wine and wafer became sweet in my mouth. I thought of Ezekiel.
A friend of mine – not a Christian – carries a set of Greek worry beads (or κομπολόι) in her pocket. They jangle beautifully and she uses them to calm her mind and meditate when times get stressful. She counts off her worries and stresses, her thanks and blessings on them. κομπολόι are a secular object; to her they are almost religious.
We all need something. To hold, to cling to, to remind us that we can take a moment to breathe. My beads give me pause to stand in the presence of Christ and say nothing, be nothing but myself. And be completely naked in my silence.
In John’s Gospel, Jesus says:
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you asthe world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27
It is only now I am fully learning how desperately I need the peace that the Lord Jesus offers. I cannot carry on in this life without it. I wonder how anyone does.
A night prayer:
Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the lord my soul to keep
Thy Love protect me through the night
and wake me with the morning light.
